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| Hello all! I'm struggling with this book I have to read for AP English. I've had 3 months to read it, and now i'm down to 3 days. Lovely. I'm not ready for this summer to be over. It's been great. In the past week, i've seen Christopher nearly every day. I've been using every excuse to get out of the house, just so I can sneak away and see my baby before he goes off to battle, lol.. I feel like i'm sending him off to war. He's having a really difficult time with football, and I'm trying to make it easier on him, but I don't think it's working. I was gone from him for so long, and now that i'm home, i'm doing all that I can to see him and be with him and make him happy. I buy him stuff all the time, idk why, I just like to, I like guys' clothes, and now I have a guy that I can buy for.. hehe.
While I waited an hour and a half for Chris to get out of practice, I talked to Matt Dotson's mom. God, it made me reminisce. It made me think of our Freshman days, when I cheered, and hung out at the football cookouts on Thursdays with Matt, Gonzo and Boomer. Where has the time gone? I know I wasted nearly 2 years on a guy that I had no business dating in the first place, 2 years I could've went to football games, made friends, played basketball.. the possibilities are endless.. but no.. I was in a shit hole relationship. Tomorrow I take my Senior pictures. I don't really like Belfry, but it breaks my heart to see this chapter in my life has slipped away. Chris is perhaps the only thing good to come out of these 4 years. I realize now how much i've matured since the Cheerleading days.. the girl I used to be, and what I am now. My grade school friends have "outgrown" me, even the two people I thought would never ignore me, couldn't give a shit less about me, even though we grew up together.
I'm constantly struggling with my appearance. It's becoming more apparent now that I have to take a bunch of pictures tomorrow, and I feel like I look shitty in every piece of clothing I own. I don't know why, but i'm soo self-conscious. I find it necessary to bleach my teeth and do sit-ups out the ass, when every day Chris tells me how he thinks i'm beautiful. I have this paranoia that i'm fat, and I only eat maybe once a day, if that. Chris said he liked my belly, lol, but I don't see how. He is so perfect. He has this beautiful dark skin, big brown puppy dog eyes, and i'm in love with his stomach, lol. I can't help but smile when I look at him, because I don't know how I got lucky enough to get him. He's the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out, and I just don't know what I would do without him. He's the biggest reason why I don't wanna leave Belfry. He's my world, and I don't wanna leave him behind. I'm so scared to go to college, but if he were going with me, I wouldn't be. He means more to me than what he realizes, or what he'll ever know. When I think about the future, all I can think about is him and me, how we'll have this perfect life, and live happily ever after. I know nothing in this world is perfect, but he's the closest i'll ever get, and I really wanna marry him in a couple of years. The best feeling in the world is laying down and going to sleep with him, knowing that when I wake up, he'll be there, holding me, protecting me from the outside world. I never want that feeling to end. I still get butterflies in my stomach when he kisses me, and every month we date is so much better than the last. I really and truly love him, with every little piece of my heart, and I always, always, ALWAYS will.
Well, I'm off to bed. When I wake up, I get to go back to reading this awful book. Joy!
I LOVE CHRISTOPHER!! | | |
| Gosh, it's been -EXACTLY- 3 weeks since my last post. I've been at Booth for the past 3 weeks, and it sucked like something awful. This'll probably be a long post, lmao!
First Week: It was okay I guess, we just took classes, but in the evenings, they took us out places, and it was better than just sitting in the dorm.
Second Week: SUCKED! We played water games on sunday, that was fun, but on Tuesday, I got my toenail hung under our door and flipped it straight up. It didn't really hurt all that bad, just burnt and bled a lot. Our shower and sink busted, but they never really fixed it and we had to use another bathroom. People gave me a lot of shit and ran their mouths about things they shouldn't have, and I couldn't take it anymore, so Thursday afternoon I left early
Third Week- Washington, DC trip: It was the hottest week this summer for the city. We left late Sunday, so we were late getting down there, and they gave away 2 rooms, one of which was Mine, Whitney Prater, and Corie Rife's. An angry british lady and her hairy husband wearing tighty-whities balled us out because "her babies were sleeping in that room and musn't be disturbed," so they put us on the boys floor, lmao. Monday, my toenail finally fell off, and we toured the Capital, which was a bunch of shit, the FDR memorial, and the Jefferson Memorial. After that we went to the Holocaust museum. Tuesday, we went to Arlington National Cemetery and to the Washington Cathedral. We went and watched a play in the evening. Wednesday, we toured even more monuments- Korea, WWII, Lincoln, and Vietnam. The bus's AC went out, so we were stranded there for 4 hours in 100° + weather. I got some good pics though, one of which was of the most awesome mustache i'd ever seen. We FINALLY got to the room, and we found nasty ass pubes in our sheets. I threw a bitch fit and the maids threw one back at me, insisting they were ours.. but WE'RE BLONDE HEADED!! The front desk, very rudely might I add, requested we move immediately so they could make that room available, while we were trying to get ready to go on a dinner cruise. The new room was nicer, though. The dinner cruise sucked ass. We stayed up on top of the boat most of the time just watching the buildings go by. The mentor dude from New Zeland had never seen lightning before, and he was trying to take pics of it. It was hilarious. Thursday, we just went to the Smithsonian. I got good pics. After that, we went to HRC to eat, and I bought Chris and I a shirt, and that was the only thing I bought on that entire trip. At midnight, we packed the bus and went home. I've had some bad family vacations, but this, by far, was the crappiest.
After 3 heartbreaking weeks, I finally got to see my baby. I'd never been happier in my life. We laid there for 3 hours, just kissing, and looking in each other's eyes. I've never felt closer to him. We went to walmart to get my pics developed, and while we were waiting, ate at Dairy Queen, and went up to the mall for a little bit. I want a new Dooney, but they didn't have the one I wanted in Dawahares. When we got back home, I think we made out the entire time, hehe. I told him a lot of things, and I think he realizes now how much I really do need him, especially with college coming up and stuff. I don't wanna graduate. I don't wanna leave him behind. That'll be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do in my life, but I know he'll be there by my side and I don't have to worry about him finding someone else. I love him with everything in me.
I'm debating on whether or not i'm gonna read fahrenheit 451 and just read the sparknotes, because I don't have to take a quiz on it or anything. I really think that's what I'm gonna do, lol.
Well, that's it for me, I'm now gonna go bask in the sun in my lovely pool!
--Erin loves Chris.. Forever! | | |
| I have to go to Booth Scholars tomorrow, and I don't want to go, AT ALL.. I hate being away from Christopher like that.. I really do. :o( I was actually active today, for once. I got up at like 8:30 and Dad was sealing the driveway, so the whole house stunk. I talked to Chris for a couple of hours, took a shower, and I thought he was gone to the lake, but his parents and he got in an argument, as usual, and he wound up not going. I went to El Azul and didn't eat much, and from that I went to WalMart and got stuff to take to Booth for 3 weeks, and ran in to Juanita Bostic-Adkins.. hehe.. she's stinky! From that, I went to Food City, and came home, and talked to Christopher for about 6 hours while I packed my clothes and stuff.
The past two days i've completely spent with Christopher, and I LOVED IT!! We swam yesterday after he finished cuttin' my dad's weeds, and then we cuddled up and watched King of the Hill, like we usually do, 'til we washed my car. I got him a Daiwa Fishin' Rod at the Bass Pro Shop in Virginia Beach, and he loved it. It made me feel sooo good, because I was so proud of myself for picking it out. I love buying him stuff. I don't know why either, I just do, maybe it's because i'm in love. Thursday I drove in the pouring rain and took the long way just so I could see him because I hadn't actually been with him in 2 weeks, and it sucked, but we cuddled n talked almost the whole time. It was GREAT.. because I hadn't been with him in so long. You really don't realize how much you love someone til you're away from them for so long.
I've been reading people's xangas, and it amuses me how slutty and whory people can be. There's more to life than just sex that has no meaning, and wearing little skimpy clothes and getting drunk and high. I couldn't live like that, I really couldn't. I have ambitions and dreams, and all of them involve Chris.
I want a Beige Miniature Long-Haired Dachshund!!!! :o( :o(
Christopher Alan Ray Vanatta, You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me! You have my heart and always will, 'til the rest of forever! I love you baby, more than anything!! | | |
| I GET TO SEE MY BABY!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!! TODAY MAKES 6 MONTHS!!
Never go to Virginia Beach.. You WILL get pissed on by a black man. That's all that's there, really. I spent that whole trip missin' Chris soo bad.. he finally got to read this, and i'm glad.. I think he liked it! I love Christopher.. with every little inch of my heart.. he's my everything, my one and only.. and I WANNA MARRY HIM!! lol.. I do! I'm getting ready to take a shower so I can go see him, it's been 2 weeks and i'm going completely crazy without his butt.
Anyway, back to the beach. Too much funny stuff happened to put in this little box. Everyone down there 'pimps' their cars out with 24 inch spinner rims.. haha.. Everyone we came in contact with spoke Spanish or French.. there was a lot of Quebec cars down there? We had to walk everywhere we went, and everything smelled like piss. There were 2 fat old gay guys in front of me on the beach Monday, and a man with a long speedo on that kept shaking his crotch at people. I think his wife liked it, lmao. The last night I was there, when I was on the phone with my baby, a kid rode a bicycle head first into a bunch of yellow lillies, and I believe that was the funniest thing i've ever seen. He just like, passed out dead, lmao!
Christopher, baby, I'm so glad I'm finally home! I've missed you, more than what you'll know. It's times like these that make me realize how much I really and truly do love you, and I can't wait to spend forever with you. I love you more than anything, and I always will! HAPPY 6 MONTHS BABY!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!! | | |
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| You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
| In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. |
| You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. |
| You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
| Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts. |
| Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
| You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
| In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
Part Passionate Kisser |
For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble |
Part Romantic Kisser |
For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance
You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea
The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood
It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet |
| You Are A Romantic |
You are more romantic than 100% of the population.
You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.
Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.
Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.
Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do! |
| Your Summer Love Style is Serious |
 While others may be into a summer fling, you're about the real thing.
And there's a good chance you're already serious with someone already.
For you, the summer is about getting closer and more committed.
Just don't get tempted by any of that hot weather eye candy! |
I'm going to VA Beach in the morning, i really don't wanna go, I'd rather be at Jenny Wiley with my future husband.. lol.. I really do. There's no feeling like laying in his arms, knowing that i've found my soulmate. I'm going crazy without him.. he's the best thing thats ever happened to me, and has the biggest part of my heart. I just feel like something's missing.. my smile.. my happiness, and it's because i'm without him. I'm watching the Addams Family on TBS.. and everytime they say Uncle Fester.. it makes me think of Fister.. which is what Chris's little bro calls him. I miss that little black boy soo bad. He really is my everything, the most important thing in my life, and my one and only.
I LOVE YOU CHRISTOPHER, WITH ALL OF MY HEART! I MISS YOU SOO BAD BABY.. COME HOME SOON! :o( | | |
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